Faces of a Diamond


Poetry is like a diamond,
beautiful and mysterious.
Everytime you look,
you see something different.
Each new face
reflects something of yourself.

and it is beautiful.


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Slavery

Slavery

I am a slave. 
Shackled to a choice 
I must make every day. 

I live under the stupor of one
Or in the shadow of the other:
a darkness that banishes life itself. 

I can be as a tree. 
Dull. Emotionless.
But alive. 

Or I can be free,
blissfully alive for a few sweet moments,
then collapse under my own weight
and be no more. 

Is it better to feel
and to be a part of creation
for only the briefest time?

Or to merely exist,
trudging through each day,
heedless of the world.

I want to experience happiness:
that beautiful glimmer 
of hope
and love. 

Even the pain is gratifying 
in its own right.
It reminds me that I am alive,
if only for a short time. 

But as always on that path,
Death comes calling. 

Then the paths get forced together,
And for a time I walk 
with one foot in each.

Eventually I am made to take
the lesser road. 
And I struggle to see the point 
in continuing
when all is gray 
and lifeless. 
It is difficult to see the light,
more still to fight the dark. 

How can I live
like this?
This is not life. 
This is existence. 
And a poor excuse for it. 

Would that I could be free.

Tagged: Faces of a DiamondslaverymedicationPTSDsuicidedepressiondissociation

PTSD

PTSD

The walls are closing in.
The gate is coming down.
He dark is inching towards me
And creeping in my mind.

I cannot find my way.
The path is long since lost.
I’m clawing at the shadows,
Cannot see the road.

Where do I go from here?
I struggle to be free.
The loneliness is crushing,
The fear of people, worse.

Am I to be trapped here
For forever and a day?
Or will I find the courage
To escape the teeth of terror.

For now I curl under the blankets,
Too afraid to leave.
For now I stay indoors
Unable to face the world.

Tagged: ptsdfearpoetryFaces of a Diamondpersonal

Children

Children

when i see a brand new baby…
i look at them
and can no longer trust my voice
because i get filled with
such happiness
upon seeing them
that all i can do is laugh.
all i can do is smile.
it feels as though there is a balloon
welling up under my ribcage,
forcing my lungs to expand,
forcing me to let go,
to laugh…

all i can do is laugh
babies, infants, children and toddlers…
they make me so happy, so excited, so overjoyed.
their innocence makes up for all the wrongs in the world
they make my day
i love children

Tagged: ChildrenFaces of a Diamondfamilyhappiness

Winter’s Come Back for an Encore

Winter’s come back for an encore
It decided that spring is a bore
And now it’s decided to snow on us
And sleet and rain just because…

Tagged: Winter's Come Back for an EncoreFaces of a Diamondwinterseasons

Moonlit

Moonlit

The moonlight reaches out,
brushing against different surfaces,
with long, tentative fingers,
with pale , searching fingers,
bathing the night with a pallid glow.

The light touches upon the ground,
trailing a cool finger in the dust,
with bright, illuminating rays,
with cold, defined rays,
filling the night with stark luminescence.

The face of the moon smiles on us,
shining icy rays to guide our path,
with gentle, guiding hands,
with open, helping hands,
giving purpose to our strides.

Tagged: MoonlitFaces of a Diamond

I wrote a book!

you should buy one! 

Tagged: bookpersonalWindow to the Soul

The Arms of Peace

I’m tired of this running.
I’m tired of this pain.
I know not of sunshine,
all I see is rain.
I just want to sleep,
and never wake again.
I just want to rest,
in the world where Death does reign.

All I want is sweet release:
to curl up in the arms of peace.

Tagged: poetryfaces of a diamondpersonalpoemdepressionsuicideThe Arms of Peace

Warhorse

[100th poem! woo! okay… back to your regularly scheduled programming]

Warhorse

oh great warhorse
standing proud!
startles not,
though death is loud.

with lathered bit.
and labored breath
he charges onward
unto death.

he treads upon
the broken bones, 
this fearless beast
goes on alone.

Tagged: poemFaces of a Diamondwarhorsedeathwarfearlessbrave

The Ghost

The Ghost

I am nothing but a ghost
a flicker of a being
a forgotten thought.

I am lost in the shadows
of the day
and I haunt the night

always tired,
so tired
yet unable to sleep.

I am invisible
to those who pass me by
and my pleas go unheard

brushed off
like cobwebs
paid no heed.

I want to take part
but I am separated
by the invisible wall,

ever-present,
holding me
two steps behind.

And when I reach out
I see their eyes
slide past me

as if I am not truly there
or not worth remembering
or just… not.

I am kept at bay
prevented
from ever joining in

laughter does not reach me
nor words
nor friendly touch.

I am a ghost
who passed long ago
and does not belong

And the more time
that I spend here
the further I am crushed

by loss
by invisibility
by emptiness.

I just want out
of this world
of this pain

of this loneliness.

Tagged: personalFaces of a DiamondpoemlonelinessThe Ghostdepression

Secret

Secret

I’m torn by the words
that I cannot say
and exploding with the secret
that I cannot keep.

fear holds my tongue
and joy fills my heart
but I’m trapped in between the two.

dare I speak
and fulfill the longings
of the soul?
or must I remain silent
and struggle evermore
to withhold the bubble
expanding in my chest.

I want to shout to the world
and let everyone know,
but I fear I may lose….
it’s happened before.

is it better to live
in the silent agony
of unshared ecstasy?
or to speak and
bide the chance
of losing all?

Tagged: poempoetrypersonallovehappinesssecrecyunrequited loveSecretFaces of a Diamond